I AM AIMING TO BEAT ME!!!

Some of us know that the thought of cutting anything from our life that makes us happy is intimidating. Our initial thought of doing it is "I don't think I can do it". We automatically think about failing. Being discipline and committed is NOT for the faint of heart. It's difficult to commit to CARING about our bodies. How insane does that sound when you say it aloud? Either way if we want to see and feel change we MUST find what works for us and commit to that shit WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

For me I knew I couldn't approach my journey with an "ALL IN" attitude in the beginning. I was not mentally prepared to give up everything. Let me explain. When Black and I lost the baby that brought a storm of depression. I felt like I needed something to comfort me and I did not want the pressure of having something else taken from me. It was too soon. I told myself that I would do a 90 day challenge. The 90-day challenge would be absolutely NO grains. Here are the things that I cut out:

-All bread (slices, rolls, biscuits, waffles, pancakes, buns, tortillas and the hardest of all PIZZA etc)

-All rice

-All pasta (including mac and cheese, Lawd Jesus)

-Processed sugar as well

Grains!!! We all LOVE different type of grains! Here's how it happened. Black and I were sitting in Panera Bread having lunch and I looked at him and said "Tomorrow I'm starting a 90 spiritual fast and I am cutting out ALL grains". I gave myself no time to think about it or even process what this fast looked like. What I did know is that I was tired of looking down and not being able to see my vagina. I got tired of not being able to fit my arms in certain shirts. Tired of being tired of the small things that were leading to big things like the scare of diabetes. Especially since it runs in my family. I knew this transition was not going to be easy especially with Summer cookouts right around the corner. How will I survive? I didn't give my time to fear the fast, I just hit GO!

This seemed like the smartest thing to do since I knew I couldn't really go super hard with working out due to the knee injuries I've had. The 1st 30 days of the 90 I added spin classes, at home Pilates and bikram yoga. I now attend spin 3-4 times a week and do Pilates 3 times a week. Pilates help a lot with toning and shaping the abdominal area. It is a low impact, high intensity exercise that is super effective with leaning out. I also made sure that I didn't step on the scale. I didn't want that pressure of the numbers either not moving or going up. What I did utilize is my resources, my friends that possess #BlackGirlMagic. I ordered some body beads to gage my fat leaving. The body beads started off fitting me right under my boobs to now almost hitting my hips. The more fat I get rid of the lower my waist beads will move. Thanks so much to @beadsbywoo on IG for contributing to my journey.

The 30 day mark was quickly approaching. I made it through some of the BEST cookouts with some of the BEST mac and cheese. I even survived a pizza party at our house with all types of pizza and delectable cupcakes. I planned ahead and made me some chicken and veggies. It wasn't as hard as I thought but my mouth did water, I didn't let the enemy interrupt my fast. By now I felt mentally strong enough to add something else to subtract lmsao. I knew that wine and alcohol was my crutch when I got really sad. I had to rely more on God and not what was in those bottles. Now for the next 60 days of the 90 I will cut out drinking. *deep sigh* Oh God! Am I ready? "YES" I answered myself and just hit GO again. I didn't give myself enough time to fear what God was trying to do with me. The very 1st night I put this part of the fast to the test, I was invited to an event with open bar with ALL top shelf liquor. SMH See how much the devil hates me?? He was so present in the building everyone told me to "just have one glass" or "you know Jesus turned water into wine?". All of this pressure almost got me. I just walked my ass right up to that bar and asked for 4 bottles of water. I beat ME that night!

My journey is NO where near over. However, I am so happy that I am staying committed even with ALL the temptations around me. I pray and journal in #ASafeSpaceForMoms daily about how proud of me I am so I never forget this feeling of accomplishing something that is so easy to fail in. God is covering me, this is why it isn't a diet it is a spiritual fast. God is getting ready to show me what he has been had for me. I just had to work for this one. I pray this helps someone to stay focused and committed to their journey!

Until Next time Mom's..KEEP MOMMING IT!

Sherrell Duncan

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