HOW CAN I MAKE THINGS OK AGAIN?

By: Monica Lynn

Sometimes life takes a sharp turn and you’re left scrambling to pick up the pieces.

In 2016, after several years of separation, I was faced with my marriage ending and had to figure out what the “new normal” would be like for me and my two children.  

Although the separation was overall amicable, I was devastated, and worried about my kids.  My son was certainly impacted but my daughter Mia took things the hardest.  On top of what was already going on we moved to a new place and she left the school she’d attended from kindergarten through 4th grade.  It was so much to pile on at once.  She was once a happy, giggling child....the way I thought a child should be.  But during this period I only saw occasional glimpses of that girl; rare bright spots in the midst of alternating states of sadness and anger.

Nights were the worst.  Sleep was elusive.  Tears and tough conversations were the norm; which led to cranky, rest-deprived mornings.

I definitely have overachiever tendencies, so feeling like I‘d failed at what I considered to be my most important roles in life (wife and mother) was both humbling and horrifying.  

Over time with patience, therapy, prayer, and a supportive village, things did stabilize a bit....but my guilt still lingered.  My super happy girl had to grow up faster than I wanted her to, and I felt bad about the role I played in the turmoil she’d been through.

Throughout all of this Mia still maintained her straight A’s in school, made new friends and remained obedient and respectful even though she was hurting.  I was so proud