The phone rang I knew it was him but I was so tired that I almost didn't answer. However, I had been waiting on his call all day. Black was gone on tour for almost 3 months. We talked every day and for hours after he got off the stage from performing. It felt like the first met, we were falling asleep on the phone and everything. He was miles away and all we had was communication. We knew that something had shifted and our relationship felt next level.
Okay back to the phone. I answered and the 1st thing he said was "When I get home I want us to practice celibacy and attend pre-marital classes." To me that was a proposal in itself. I cried and said "Hell yeah Baby, let's do it!". Let me give you some back story on why this was so important to me emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
I lost my virginity at 13 years old. Young? I know. This led to a life full of emotion-filled sex. Everything was about sex. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I can talk about sex ALL day and night and never get bored. But that's not the point. If I was happy, I had sex. If I was sad, I had sex. It was my outlet. I loved it so much that if I saw someone I was sexually attracted to, he'd be with me that night. Now those type of situations didn't happen often. However, the desire was ALWAYS there. You could not have paid me and said "In your near future you will meet a man, fall in love, not have sex with him and then he will marry you" I would have laughed you out. That was something I was not open to at all. My mind had never even went to that thought. It was programmed to only think, "sex now". My addiction to sex led me to start a triple xrated sex podcast. It was super raw, you all missed it lmsao. Needless to say my body needed a mental, spiritual, physical and emotional detox from sex.
One month later Black returned home and it was "Go time". Now keep in mind we are living together and we had already experienced each other countless times sexually. This was a new arena for the both of us. We prayed to God for almost an hour to help us through this journey and to make matters worse we lived together. I honestly didn't think I could do it. We sleep in the same bed and we can't touch each other at all. I say "at all" because I was well aware of my triggers. Now I know you all are probably thinking "why don't one of you just move out?" Well I tried, Black was not having that. This was going to be a true testament to our faith and discipline. My thoughts were "we should have planned ahead for this" lmsao but we had planned for years and didn't know it.
The first day of our journey was January 1, 2016 it was a snow storm and both our kids were gone with their other parents. We both were disappointed that God would give us this big of a test. Not only can we not have sex but now we are stuck in the house with no kids and wine! At this point I was ready to give up...ON THE 1ST DAY! Black came up with the idea of playing games, so we made it through. However, in the months to come it was a serious struggle for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I would wake up in the middle of the night sweating, crying and trying to recover from nightmares. My nightmares were always men dying in many different ways. My body was cleansing itself of all the impurities over the years. Black would grab my hand and pray with me until we would fall asleep on our knees leaning over the bed. Our communication grew stronger and we became TRUE best friends. I already considered him my best friend but this was next level. I mean how many times does a girl like me have a relationship with a man who's accepted all of her flaws and want to practice celibacy to honor GOD!?!?!
Celibacy brought out another level of sexiness for me. I felt super sexy on the night of our Surprise wedding. Knowing that we have not seen each other naked in months made me extra confident in my abilities to now please MY HUSBAND. I needed that type of sexiness in my life. Not only did I feel extra sexy because I passed the celibacy test but because for the first time in my life God is smiling down on me for HAVING SEX. THAT TO ME IS THE SEXIEST THING EVER!!!
HOW WE DID IT?
We prayed every day. There wasn't a day we missed. I started hosting fitness classes dedicated to being sexy to help with my urge to jump his bones. #SexerciseWithSherrell was and still is one of the sexiest exercise classes you will ever take. Whenever I would feel like I wanted to have sex I would go do sexercise in our living room and he would play basketball. It worked because we worked. We made sure God was 1st and we did it through blood, sweat and tears!
Go get your sexy!